Monday, June 4, 2012

Insecurity and Perfectionism

I’ve never been a writer. 
Sometimes i wonder why i even bother to blog when there are already so many good blogs out there! I read about someone else’s life and am inspired by their beautiful words, pictures, their passion, the things that God is teaching them...and at the same time i set myself up against them, wondering why i can’t be as good at life as they are. 
And then God gently reminds me that my blog is NOT about showing other people how “great” i am; nor is my blog is about “softening” my insecurities through the praises of those who read it. 
How easy it is to look to others for approval rather than the One who really matters!
O to rest in the plans that He has for me!
O to breathe in the security of living for Him alone!
Why is it that i feel the need to compare myself to those around me? Why do i need to be the person who has it all together...the mom who isn’t run ragged, the girl who easily fits a size 6 (ha!), the photographer who takes the best pictures? What is with this perfectionistic complex?!?!
Perfectionism...a battle i’ve fought (or not fought depending on my mood) nearly my whole life. It’s a devil that has truly kept me in chains as i’ve struggled with an eating disorder; as my life was consumed by high school and college, “needing” to go above and beyond in all of my classes; and as my mind is continually a stage for comparison to those around me. 
Recently i read the following: 
Perfectionism is the belief that life is broken.
My need for everything to be “perfect” is actually me judging myself, my loved ones, and my life as not good enough. 
Broken and not good enough??? What kind of attitude is that?!! My life is most certainly good enough! It is more than good enough :) Those around me are more than good enough! They are beautiful and perfect...each one created in the image of God.
These things i know, and have always known. 
But it is still a battle i fight every day. There are days when i don’t fight so well. I give in to my laziness of mind and give Satan free reign to tear myself and sometimes even others down. But today i am reminded that the battle is one that is worth fighting!
When i can accept myself for who God has made me to be, i can truly live life. I can rest in His love for me, and in turn, i can love others honestly and openly, for they too bear His image!
What freedom to love and be loved when our eyes are fixed on Him!

This photo was submitted to the I Heart Faces photo challenge –
Photo Challenge Submission


  1. Wow! Thanks for that post and reminder...I needed that!!

  2. yeah girl, i'm right there with you! i've wrestled the same thing esp with blogging. what would life be like if i could live without comparing?! I want so much to cultivate a better perspective, "rest" in God's approval and offer others the same gift. it's great to share this way though, there is so much freedom in being real but still keep the focus on God's goodness and provision like you did here.

  3. Thanks for that Parla! I needed it a lot after a week of too much comparing! It's so hard to act out and just be yourself and who God wants you to be!

  4. Good, good thoughts, Parla, darlin'. We really do get so caught up in what people think of us, and whether we are performing well enough, and so many external things that are purely subjective. One of the things that I've had to realize is that I cannot see other people through the eyes of even the people that I love -- for their prejudice and their bias and even their view of their experiences can so quickly color my outlook and what I think and feel.

    "O wad some Power the giftie gie us
    To see oursels as ithers see us!
    It wad frae monie a blunder free us,
    An' foolish notion:
    What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us,
    An' ev'n devotion"
    ~Robert Burns

    (O would some Power the gift to give us
    To see ourselves as others see us!
    It would from many a blunder free us,
    And foolish notion:
    What airs in dress and gait would leave us,
    And even devotion!

    Love you!

  5. So true! It is a journey! Relax and be yourself, life is too short.... I love that picture of Dave and Brighton, with him messy hair! Yeah, just the way life is.......

  6. I am always amazed and in awe at how God works in our lives. So glad we can trust Him. I am looking forward to heaven when we won't have Satan around to tempt us. Love you Parla. PS Can't wait to see the three of you this weekend.

  7. I am blessed by your words today, and the vintage processing on your contest picture is just lovely.

  8. What an awesome daddy/daughter picture. Sure to be a treasure forever.

  9. That photo for the contest is great.

    And I can so relate on the comparing!!!

  10. What a beautiful baby girl. Wonderful images.